Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
