He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
