So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are two peas in an std pod
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
