I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
