So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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