im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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