is this the sara with the beer cane?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
