He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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