everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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