Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
