Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
