yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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