this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
