dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
