Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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