But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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