i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
