idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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