You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is not my ceiling
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's never too late to be topless.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
