I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
