So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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