you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
