I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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