Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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