Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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