Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
