Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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