Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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