This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
