I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
