Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
