my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
