I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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