The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
