Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
areolas are like halos for boobs.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
