I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
