We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
