I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
