I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
