we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
