So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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