maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
