It's like a parade of train wrecks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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