I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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