He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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