I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
