He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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