i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
