You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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