Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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