Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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