But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
