you guys were way drunker than both of me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
