i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My vagina is officially offended.
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